Current feeling: Gutted

This has been the worst month in years, splashed with moments of profound grace.

I have swung wildly from the lows of totally inappropriately, completely unprofessionally, bursting into tears in a friends dining room. To feeling utterly blessed, to be able to provide hospitality for very good friends in my home, followed by the bliss of listening to my harp teachers CD release party, to being slapped in the face with phone message from someone who “did not care for” my tone of voice on a message I left.

The shocking thing about the “tone of voice” thing, was I really had no intention of turning into Comrade Snarky. (And Goddess knows I can when the mood strikes me)
I was well and truly bitch slapped to hear that. I have left an apology for the “tone” (wich was hopefully in the right tone) and had a long conversation with a supervisor of said “tone of voice” Complainant. Supervisor of Complainant assures me that I should not have been treated that way. I don’t see things as being that cut and dry and I really don’t want to get any one in trouble. The only reason I called supervisor was I was afraid I had been fired.

So while that quagmire had been mostly cleared up I am examining the complete lack of bliss that is my job search.

Helllooooooooooo! Is anybody out there!?

It would be really nice to get a lousy interview.

Well actually no, I take that back. I would like a GOOD INTERVIEW. That will lead to a GOOD JOB. That will be SATISFYING. And will PAY WELL.

Ahem.

If I’m going to have it, I’m going to have it all.

So there has been more bliss and more bitch slappage but really that’s enough for now.

I could really use more of the bliss right now to fill up this gutted feeling. But if the bliss doesn’t come to me then I will go to the bliss. I’ve signed up for a crochet course at the mighty Lettuce Knit, I’ve run four of the twelve miles I will run this week. I will take my bike to work tomorrow, (if it’s not pouring rain) and now… I will go have a cookie.