Here's to 2013.

I am trying to find the words my feelings during the beginning of 2013.

I have a number of friends who are really happy to see the ass end of 2012. There have been a number of people who have suffered dreadful loss, catastrophic illnesses pain and uncertainty. 

I can’t say that 2012 has been that bad for me.  My complaints about this year are on the scale of irritation rather than devastation.  I’ve been dealing with an ongoing low level of anxiety for about three or four months.  Its roots have to do with fears I have about the future, “Will I have enough money to retire?” – Not if I don’t win a lottery.  Can I be a massage therapist until…well… until I die? – I doubt it.

My fears are not entirely without merit, but it does me no good to fret now about things that are not going to be a serious issue for twenty years or more.   

Husband has been having an irritating year as well.  His job has been plagued by other departments seemingly doing everything possible to make his job impossible to do. He has been consistently working nine hour shifts, he hasn’t been able to regularly get out to the gym and his blood pressure may be climbing.  To add to his stress levels there have been three people fired in his office over the past year, and just last week his boss announced that he was quitting.

Husband has lost some sleep over the past week. Seeing my usually unflappable, calm, sweet husband need to vehemently snarl about his day and lose sleep over the office histrionics has been upsetting.  Truthfully it has not done fantastic things for my little anxiety issue either.

There are frank discussions being had about the future in husband’s office.  Discussions between husband and his employers about changes that should happen, (They love him and are well aware that they past few years have been trying),  Discussions between husband and myself about promises that his employers have made in the past and reneged on,  Discussions about contacting former co-workers and putting out feelers. 

Thus far 2013 is not perfect.  I am cautiously optimistic that things will change for the better.  I will get a grip, (or get a prescription) Husbands office will learn to kiss his ass and fix the mess that they have made or they will suffer the loss of husbands talents.  But more importantly in 2013 the people who have suffered a shitty 2012 will have a better year.

Those things would make me very happy.