100%, Not so much...

I have had three midterm exams so far, written Anatomy, Oral Practical Anatomy, and Oral Practical Massage. I'm fairly sure that I have passed all my exams so far, but my written Anatomy sucked and I have stumbled badly through the oral practicals.

This has taken me for a really big loop. Usually if I am doing and oral presentation of any sort I can bull shit my way through anything. I actually froze today.

This is SO. Not. Like. Me.

After the exam one of my classmates helped put it in to perspective. "This is more important than any thing to us right now, and we want it so badly we can taste it." And she's right.

There has been no interview, no oral presentation, no audition I have done that meant as much to me as these exams have meant. They are weird and unfamiliar and the teachers know it and so we are not heavily graded on them. But fuck, I feel like such a fucking armature.

I should not be so hard on my self and chalk it up as a learning experience. Knowing in my logical mind that I am my own worst critic doesn't seem to shut my reptilian brain and keep it from running around and screaming.

Ugh.

I need a beer.

The cracks are showing...

Both literally and figuratively among my classmates at school.

One girl has had cracks in her ceiling turn into a cave-in. Her landlord is in Portugal, and no one is quite sure when he is coming back. To make things more interesting personal problems have erupted in her life. Another girl has lost a good friend to suicide. Last night the haggis and I had yet another of my classmates over for dinner. She had broken up with her creepy boyfriend (who phoned and text messaged her 25 times during the day) and we wanted to make sure that she made it home safely.

She told us we could drop her off at the end of her street. We told her we would feel better seeing her get in her house safe. We drove on to her road and sure enough , creepy (now Ex) boyfriend was sitting out side her house. We sat in the car and gave him dirty looks until she got into the house.

I am relatively good, though this cough seems to have flared up yet again.

To make things more interesting for all of us Midterms start next week. We were all pretty punchy and weird in our last class today.

Oh the joys of school life.