October 31st, Halloween, also known as Samhain is known as the Celtic new year and the time when the veils between the two worlds were at there thinnest. Similarly On November 2nd Mexico celebrates Dias Del La Muertos – Day of the Dead. Japan Celebrates a similar day called Obon. (but in Japan it falls some time between July 15 and August 15 depending on the Lunar calendar.)
When I was a good little pagan I would dutifully attend some form of “welcoming the dead back” ritual around this time of year.
These days I’m not so good a pagan, but this time of year has always been important, sacred and charged. When I was a little kid I tried to express to my parents that there was more to Halloween. That I felt, deep in my heart that I was supposed to be doing something and there was something to the anticipation that I felt in the days leading to Halloween.
They thought I was excited about candy.
Sigh.
In recent years on October 31st Igal and I have decorated the house and handed out candy to the local munchkins. But I have always paused and remembered my important dead at this time of the year. And I do so again this year.
Brian Gordon.Brian was a gorgeous man who lived in the same building as me and my parents. He was a very kind sweet man, and the kind of gay man that made strait women sigh in frustration. He was incredibly fit, and I would frequently see him rollerblading down the street where we lived. He was he first person I knew who died of AIDS. His illness brought home the reality of what AIDS was and the fact that the most healthy fit individual could still fall victim to it. I visited him in Casey House before he died. Brian was a shining example of a person who had come to terms with there impending death and prepared accordingly. He pre-arranged his funeral; He bought his mother a dress for the funeral. –Sleeveless, incase he died in the summer, and with a matching jacket, incase he died in the winter.
I am told that as he left the funeral home after making the arrangements for his own funeral, the funeral director looked up at him and said, “Oh Brian, … Don’t be late.”
Apparently he wasn’t.
Gary MorrisGary was Lana’s Boyfriend of three years when he suddenly died of a massive heart attack due to a birth defect. He was a sweet kid and the only one of her boyfriends I really approved of. (Aside from her current sweetie Daniel) He was a talented kid both as a musician and a recording engineer. His death was an astounding learning experience for me. It showed me that I could handle a crisis, it gave me an understanding of my own feelings about death and dieing and it ultimately shaped some of the reasons why I wanted to get involved in hospice and palliative care.
Maurice LaChappele Maurice was the elder of the Wiccan Church of Canada. He was the person that the high Priesthood could turn to in times of crisis. He was a wonderful person to talk too and he went to the grave with many peoples secrets. He could be counted on to be nonjudgmental and truthful. He was the first person I knew of who got and subsequently, died of ALS. He was a fascinating creature with a wicked sense of humor and a vast astounding knowledge of herbs and mushrooms. I loved him dearly and to this day I miss him.
Doris Iovich Doris was a cousin of Igal’s. She was the clan matriarch of the Montreal side of Igal’s family. She lived a hard life and started over twice, once when her family came over to Canada from Russia and once more when her successful business was felled by circumstances beyond her control. She was a strong, strong lady. She was 95 years old when she died and she was still living alone in her own apartment. To her last day she was as sharp as a tack. Of all Igal’s family she made me feel the most welcome and loved. The last time I saw her, Igal and I dropped her off at her apartment where she was promptly getting ready for another visitor. She turned to me and said “You know I love you don’t you Veronica?”
Yes auntie Doris.
I do.
There are more.
But that’s enough for now.
Labels: Spirituality
