I READ SMUT

Yes Moms and Dad, your daughter’s a pervert. Deal with it.

But that’s not what I’m writing about. Because my parents do read this blog and … Eww!

One of the smutty writers that I read is in medical distress.

She has the same thing that sent me into surgery twice. Uterine fibroids.

The problem is that that (Hominysnark –also known as Lisa) lives in the states, because she is self employed she skates the uncomfortable line between not making enough money to be able to afford health insurance, and making to much money to get free health coverage. Her condition has spiraled out of control to the point the that she desperately needs to have a hysterectomy, but she doesn’t have the $2700.00 for the operation.

She can wait until the condition is life threatening, and they will go ahead and give her the surgery, but it will likely cost even more in that case… and life threatening? Not the best circumstances under which to be having surgery.

Another writer has put together a donation site HERE. There are several auctions on the top of the page that you can bid on or you can scroll down the post titled “welcome to the fluffy bunny fund” and just send money strait to Lisa or you can go HERE to F-Bod studios (stands for Fluffy Bunnies of Doom.)and get some very cool and funny T-shirts fridge magnets, bumper stickers and other fun stuff.

If you have a few buck to spare consider sending them to Lisa.

And for those of you who now me, Ive already bought myself a "Bami's mother was Yummy" T-shirt.

And fridge magnet.

What are you going to get?

Good Deeds, Good Byes, and Good News

It’s been a busy week.

Last Friday the haggis and I drove the cats up to Grace and my father’s house. Apparently the cats were mightily traumatized by the Haggis and I abandoning them. Lily hid the entire time they were there, and Iris was aggressive and snarly.

Half way through the week, I phoned them to ask how the cats were doing. My father put the speaker phone on and let Iris hear my voice, apparently after that Iris calmed down and was a little more reasonable.

Last Saturday we went off to the medieval camping weekend, arriving just in time for the main feast. The two farms that the camping weekend was on are beautiful and huge. There was a main camping area, a fire pit, the “lists” (AKA fighting ring) and an archery range.

The mosquitoes were fierce, and the first night was clear and warm. But in the middle of the night it started to pour. The rain kept up until about 1:00 in the afternoon the next day and then it cleared up and dried out. We managed to do some shooting, but much to our chagrin there was no armored charge this year; so no shooting arrows at people.

That night was cool and clear, and the next day was sunny and clear enough for us to pack out with everything dry.

We came back to the city, cleaned up, dropped off the camping gear. The next morning we were on our way to Ipperwash.

GOOD DEEDS:
Our very good friends Timothy and Shelly have decided to move out to Nova Scotia. I am so very saddened that they are leaving Ontario, but I know that the move will be very good for them, and they will have so much less stress in there lives.

This week they have been packing and getting ready for the move, they asked us to come and help them. We arrived on Tuesday afternoon and plowed in to helping with the packing and shuffling of every thing. As we worked through the day Timothy realized that he had horribly under estimated the amount of work to be done, to make matters worse, one of the neighbors who came to help was a transport truck driver, who, upon hearing the size of the truck and trailer that Timothy had gotten, announced “there is no way you are going to be able to pack all of that stuff in there.”

We all racked our brains about how we were going to get Timothy and Shelley’s stuff to Nova Scotia. Timothy was sure that he was going to have to do yet another trip, Rent another truck and spend even more money to get everything out there. To make things worse their two very young girls were having a terrible time with the disruption. The older of the two just turned five and was quite chagrined that no one would play with her. The younger girl (just a babe in arms) could not stand to have her mother out of her sight for any length of time and would wail when Shelly was out of sight for more than a few moments. The family Dog was equally perturbed at the state of affairs, and whined non stop when he was chained out in the back yard.

In the midst of all this chaos all of us frantically packed. Timothy commented “You certainly know who your friends are at moments like these!”

Probably at about 9:00 pm or so Timothy announced that he had had enough, Shelly drove out and got a Pizza while the Haggis, Timothy and I drove to the beach to clean up.

The waves were unreal.

A nearly full moon lit our way, and the wind roared across the lake churning up huge powerful waves that we body surfed on. At one point Timothy decided to show me some more powerful waves and eagerly took my hand and hauled me in to deeper water, a huge wave plowed in to me and knocked me clean off my feet, Timothy charged after me to make sure I was OK.

“Oh my God!” Timothy yelled, “I killed Veronica!” I managed to come up sputtering and laughing and assured him that all was well.

We lurched out of the water and drove back to the house were Shelly had pizza waiting.

The next day we started again and Timothy went to a neighboring town to pick up the truck and trailer.

Timothy wisely decided that we should get some of the heaviest things into the trailer first, and we began to move the upright piano out of the house.

When the haggis and I worked at Harborfront we moved an upright piano, it was really no big deal. - But that was a modern piano. Timothy’s piano is an antique. Not only is this beast of an upright made out of solid wood but it also has a cast iron frame. The three of us sweating and straining managed to get the thing on to just in front of the door to the front porch, and then we were faced with the daunting task of trying to get over the threshold of the door and down the stairs of the porch. At this point Shelly was in a bit of a panic over us moving the piano and had visions of traumatic amputations of fingers and toes. Some one called some neighbors over and two men showed up with two thick sheets of plywood that we could use as a ramp to get the piano-beast down the stairs. Now five of us wrestled with the piano and managed to muscle it in to the van with no loss of toe or finger. –Or anything else for that matter.

Shelly and the girls were supposed to have left that night for Shelly’s sister’s house from where they would fly to Nova Scotia on Friday. But we were no where near done and at close to four o’clock not much else other than the piano had made it into the truck. Shelly’s sister called to check on the progress. Shelly told her that we were behind schedule and there was no way she would be able to leave that night.

“I’m on my way” Shelly’s sister announced. True to her word C (Shelly’s sister) arrived within hours with her own daughter. She took The older girl with her and they went to a hotel where the two girls got to play and enjoy a pool and get a good nights rest.

Once again Timothy, The Haggis and I drove to the beach to get cooled off. This time the water was calm, which, the Haggis and I reflected was probably a very good thing. We were all so dead tired on our feet that we likely would have drowned if we had to fight against another night of killer waves.

The sun was setting as we arrived and the western sky was a glowing brilliant red. To the east a full yellow moon rose in the sky and down the beach some one tended a huge bonfire. The wind carried the smell of crisp wood smoke to us in the water.

Timothy told us, perhaps for the tenth time since we arrived how very grateful he and Shelly were that we had come to help them.

When we went back to the house the four of us sat on the floor of the furnitureless living room ate snacks and drank wine and scotch. I pulled out a bottle of lotion gave Shelly and Timothy foot massages. One at a time they lay flat on there backs on the floor with there feet propped up on a milk-crate as I wrung noises out of each of them that sounded somewhere between pained and obscene. It was terribly satisfying to me.

GOOD BYES:
The next morning Timothy took us all out for breakfast. Neighbors arrived out of the blue to assist with packing and loading and by two o’clock the truck and trailer were packed and Timothy was on his way to Ottawa to pick up his brother and continue on to Nova Scotia. Shelly, the girls and Shelly’s sister finished the final details of the clean up and we said our goodbyes in front of the empty house. With tears in her eyes Shelly thanked us yet again and asked “You’ll Visit?”

“You just try and keep us away” I told her.

I managed to keep my shit together until we pulled out of Timothy and Shelly’s (old) street and turned on to the road that lead to the highway before I started crying.

GOOD NEWS:
The Hagis and I drove back to the big smoke, picked up the cats and got home. The next morning I opened the mailbox and got my “congratulations” letter from the Collage of Massage Therapists. I’ve passed all my exams. Now its only a matter of paperwork.

We went out to dinner on Saturday night with My sister in law and her boyfriend to celebrate my success, and regaled them with the tale of our week of adventures. Both of them commented on what good friends we were, and how far above and beyond the call of duty we went to help Timothy and Shelly.

I wondered out loud to my sister in law. “Was that really so unusual? Isn’t that just the kind of thing that friends do for each other?” We both realized that that was in fact not always the case. Perhaps what was worse than friends who don’t step up to the plate in a time of need are those who cant accept (or decline) offered assistance with grace.

Both Lana and I have been kicked in the teeth for the crime of offering to help. Perhaps then, that is the true test of a friendship. Not the offer of help, but the accepting if it.

One way or another this week seemed like the most profoundly right thing to do. And the greatest reward I could have received for my efforts was the heartfelt appreciation that Timothy and Shelly gave us.

For them, I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Graduation and Hunger

School is over at last.

I have officially graduated, and now I am waiting and studying in anticipation of my Ontario Collage of Massage Therapists Board exams.

I’m relived and slightly melancholy. I am unbelievably relieved to be done with endless Assignments, out reaches,clinics,tests, exams, and oral practicals, I’m going to miss the staff, the teachers were great. My classmates? Not so much. Well, a very few I will miss but for the most part...

Its not that they were all awful, but they were all younger than me, and we had very little in common. Despite the fact that forming relationships with the kids at school was probably doomed from the get go, I feel bummed that I don’t think that I have walked away from this school with any real lasting friendships.

My pride in my accomplishments at school have been rudely tempered with being appalled by my current weight/shape.

And yes, I am probably being hard of my self, yes I have been ill and anemic for over two years, and I haven’t had a great deal of time to exercise thanks to school. But man! I look in to the mirror and I am shocked by what I see.

Who the fuck is that fat lady in the mirror?

Oh shit! That’s me!

I am sick of not being able to buy clothing any where but the “fat” stores.

There was an interesting “Oprha” on this afternoon. (I’m in good company, as Oprha has fallen off the fitness wagon too.) Oprha had been talking about what is causing her to gain weight and has asked the question “what Am I really hungry for?” She sites a lack of balance in her life (Too much work) for her weight gain. I can relate to that, I have been trapped in a small room with a mob of some times irritating youngsters. I haven’t had a great deal of time with people my own age, and I don’t feel like I currently have really close friends to rely on. There is one friendship that is still in the budding stages and there are a few that I have grown to accept are changing or have changed.

So what am I hungry for?

Stability.

Friendships with people who are my age. Friendships were I don't feel confused or like I am doing all the work.

So am going to try to nurture those friendships that I value. I’m going to try to relax about the friendships that are changing.

And like today, I’m going to go to the gym and watch what kind of crap I put in my face.

If I don’t loose any weight I may loose some angst. That would be good.

Dear Powers That Be

Enough OK?

You have made several of my family members sick as dogs for months now. That’s quite enough of that.

And this nonsense that you have dumped on my friends… Not cool.
The two solid months of illness was bad enough, really. But loosing the house? That was a low blow. And now? Scary-assed looking bi-lateral tumors?

What the fuck?

No Love.
Me.

A Rough Week and a Lovely Surprise

It’s been a bad week for the girls at school.

This week one girl found out that a very good friend of hers is very seriously ill, another girls best friend as lost her father to brain cancer, another girl’s grandmother attempted suicide, and this afternoon we have lost one more student due to family stress.

Its given me the urge to check on people (who might appreciate being checked on)

I called a good friend and got a dose of good news. Her and her husband are expecting there second child, They were trying for a while with no success, and when they gave up - BOOM! Baby!

There aren’t a lot of people that I feel positive about having children, but these two – Such awesome parents.

Thank you my friend for sharing your lovely news with me.

VISTA MUST DIE

So the computer rocks, it is with out question the smokingest best thing evah (Spelling intentional). But I was not too sure about the operating system Vista. I haven't played with the computer at length and I have not taxed its chippy little brain too much so I don't really know what it can do.

I called my Uber-geek friend Pete to ask his opinion on Vista. As it just so happens Pete had just bought himself a brand new shiny computer loaded up with Vista. He gave Vista a test drive and his comment was, "It took my Porsche of a computer and applied the hand-brake to it."

Yikes. That would be a definite thumbs down from Uber-geek Pete.

Because I don't have the "office" or "premium" version of Vista Micro Soft wont give me a free "down grade".

I bemoaned this fact to Pete who told me that he would set me up with XP... and Photo shop.

Have I mentioned lately that I love my friends?

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night..

Christmas is an odd time of year, and not just because its my birthday.

Its the time of the year when some of the best, and some of the worst comes out in people. Where the spirit of giving and charity come out, where we think of those who are less fortunate than ourselves, were we gather together with our friends, coworkers, and our loved ones and occasionally our (not so) loved ones. Christmas is a time of the year when we should reflect on what we are thankful for. In the midst of all the peace on earth and good will towards all men it is (sadly) also a time of the year when some assholes come crawling out of the woodwork.

Any one who has ever worked in retail understands exactly what I mean.

This year I volunteered to work though the holidays, and for the most part my customers were happy, appreciative of my efforts, and lovely to deal with.

There were some odd exceptions.

There was a gentleman this afternoon who was in a bit of a mood. He was snapping about something or other, and my response was to be as cheerful as I possibly could and I told him to have a wonderful Christmas. He stopped, came back to the counter and asked me pointedly "Did you say to have a Merry Christmas?"

"Er... yeah."

He went on to say that he was sure that it was company policy that we could not say "Merry Christmas" and that at every other Starbucks he had been too he had been told to have a "Happy Holliday" and the "political correctness" of it pissed him off. He always made a point of saying "Merry Christmas" back at someone’s "happy holidays". He was quite pleased by my "Merry Christmas".

I thought it was a really silly thing to get your shorts in a knot over.

I plastered a big smile on my face and nodded and smiled.

Later that evening we had a charming young lady who demanded to know why were closing so early. I tentatively said,
"Er... because it's Christmas Eve?"

She muttered something I wont repeat here.

My co-worker had many words for this young lady after she left the store. Some to do with her questionable parentage, her attitude, and the fact that she clearly had no concept that we had lives and families to get too.

I told my co-worker that this was not worth getting upset over. I was particularly surprised, as to my knowledge my coworker had no family in Toronto and is currently between relationships.

Earlier this week I have experienced some of the more "Peace on Earth" kind of Christmas cheer. On Friday night, the Haggis and I went to a friend’s house. There were vast amounts of food, reminiscing, and many hugs all round. All of the gifts that were exchanged that night were hand made.

And while I was impressed with my un-commercial non-consumer Christmas the next day I was treated to a delightful great dollop of consumer-y goodness. On Saturday I was surprised by Santa arriving quite early and providing me with something I had been wanting for school quite some time. A number of my friends, and the Haggis got together to get me a really nice, really smoking laptop.

Dear God, I was quite shocked. It is a lovely toy that I must explore at length soon, but so much lovelier are the wonderful friends who plotted together to make this happen. Time, effort and many emails were no doubt sacrificed in this effort and I am so thankful for that effort.

Oh my.

I feel sorry for that young woman who needed a coffee shop to be open later than 6pm of Christmas Eve. Perhaps she had not family or friends to go home too.

I'm glad I do.

Summer Wine

Well, the Summer officially comes to a close for me in two days. I must admit I am feeling a tad melancholy about it.

The last year had been one of some personal growth (with some help, but mostly on my own) , some pain, and some loss. I've made some really great new friends and I've had to step away from some old ones. The best thing about this year has been finding a sense of purpose that I've been lacking in my life for... well... for a very long time.

Even though I really slogged emotionally through the past year, allot of the time I felt like I was screwing the pooch. (and hence part of my melancholy regarding the end of summer)

There will be no pooch-screwing as of September 4th.

But what a way to let the summer go.

The Haggis and I took the last week of August off. Our plan was to visit the lovely Timothy and Shelley (and the immensely cute Nina, and equally cute but in a much more furry sort of way Oliver and Devon) Before our visit we would leave the car at Timothy and Shelley's place near Grand Bend and take our bikes on an epic 75km journey to Godrich.

It was a good plan really.

We arrived at Timothy and Shelley's house parked the car and enjoyed a lovely (And really well thought out) lunch with them. We packed our back packs, filled our water bottles, and pumped up our tires....

And that was were things started to go wrong.

All was well and good until I pulled the pump valve off of my front tire. I heard a hiss and my tire deflated completely. I had somehow managed to rip the tire valve away from the inner tube.

Veronica is strong. Inner tubes it seems, are not.

No problem.

I had a spare inner tube. (Please note that I said "A" Spare and not "Several" spares.) We switched the tube, pumped the tire and after much waving goodbye and many hugs for the Habinski's, we were on our way.

The first twenty km or so were a breeze. We were easily averaging 25-27kmph We rode along a paved road sheltered by trees until just past Grand Bend. After Grand Bend the trees along the side of the road disappeared and the full force of a good strong wind off of lake Huron hit us full in the face. For the next 30k we struggled against the wind and saw our speed drop to 19kmph or less. Finally at km 52 we pulled in to a gas station and realized that my back tire was loosing air. I whipped out my handy dandy teeni-weenie carbon fiber air pump and went to town on the tire, I pulled the pump off the valve and... ripped the valve off the inner tube.

Once again proving that Veronica is strong...and inner tubes are not.

(Honestly people I have pumped these damn tires a million fucking times and NOTHING like this has ever happened)

Thank god for cell phones and thank god for the fact that WE HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER!!!!!!

We called the Habinski's and in no time a rescue team was on the way. (Not only that, but we were provided with life saving emergency instructions to the nearest pub so that we could quaff beer while we awaited rescue!)

We sat on the patio of the Albion hotel and soon Timothy arrived driving Igals car and Shelly followed with their van. We bought Timothy a beer while Shelly and Nina enjoyed a nearby park. After thanking our rescuers profusely we parted ways, us with bikes now strapped to our car and them in there van.

we continued to Godrich and our lovely B&B.

The next day we came back to the Habinski's and spent the next day there enjoying there wonderful hospitality, the beach and firing Arrows and B.B.'s at a poor unsuspecting box and lawn chair.

That box and Lawn chair both know that they've been in a fight.
'Nuff said.

Wednesday we promptly went to MEC and got THREE new inner tubes. (Of course now I will NEVER blow another tire again...)

Yesterday we had dinner with Lana and Daniel and heard stories about there trip out west. Today we engaged in extreme gluttony at the burlington rib fest.

*urp*

Pass the alka-seltzer will ya Haggis?

I Stand Corrected.

Roben gave me a call yesterday after reading my blog to clarify that she had not, in fact invited me to crash Pete and Victoria’s Post wedding brunch. And truth be known the word “crash” never crossed her lips.

Roben did mean something quite different. (You didn’t do a bad job in communicating it Roben, I just get squirrelly about weddings.)

In my head anything to do with any wedding is FORMAL, and so not receiving an invitation (spoken sufficed, but engraved wax sealed envelopes would have been much better) –I’m kidding- directly from the Host/ess felt like crashing.

And we know how I feel about crashing ….

A Wedding, an Anniversary, and Good News

My friends Pete and Victoria got married yesterday morning (and they’ll get married again next week – But more on that later). They had a very small elegant Catholic Church wedding, Pete’s mother came in from England to attend and Victoria’s father was present. Pete and Victoria walked together down the aisle. It was a lovely ceremony and I cried the whole way though it.

God I’m a suck.

There were moments of humour thrown in as the minister fudged Victoria’s name and called her Veronica.

Several times.

I joked with Pete that he had married me as well.

Pete and Victoria very graciously invited Igal and I to join the wedding party for the post wedding brunch at Joy Bistro.

Later that night Ross and Roben celebrated there 10th Anniversary at the Salle.

It was lovely to get caught up on some friends that I haven’t seen in quite a while. Kim and Rick made it out, Matt and Sukie and there brood of Fingal, Luna, Melia (Sp?) and “yet to be named Bun-in-the-oven” The kids look wonderfull and Sukie as usual is radiant in her pregnancy.

Also in attendance was the Lovely Angel and Greg, Ian Sinclair and His new Wife. (Who’s name has run away from my head) Even Pete and Victoria took a brief break from there wedding night to join us.

The odd point of the evening came when some kids who were a part of the Martial arts collective (and not invited to the party) slunk out of the back room and helped them selves to a heaping plate full of the chilli and some Beer.

They where under aged so the beer freebee was quickly squwashed but I think they ate more of the chilli than the invited guests did. At one point I warned Igal that if he wanted to taste our chilli he better get some quick. (It was a good thing too, because the next time I saw the pot it looked as if it had been licked clean.)

I couldn’t believe the nerve.

Earlier on in the day after the Pete and Victoria’s Wedding Roben suggested that Igal and I “crash” the post wedding brunch. I wouldn’t do it. (Pete wound up chasing Igal and I down the street to tell us to come) I don’t believe in inviting your self to events. I never assume that I am included unless it is explicitly expressed and I have a real pet peeve against people who do, or who simply show up to an event uninvited.
ARRRGH!

And the good news. T and S’s little girl seems to be doing just fine. Best of all test have confirmed that the spectre of the big “C” is not present.

Hearing that last night was the best part of my day.

Thank you to every one who sent positive vibes.

Prayers for a little girl

My very good Friends S and T are very worried about there Little Girl. She has been complaining about a pain in her hip. As of yesterday a battery of tests had still not revealed a definitive cause.

The Doctors have said it could be something very minor, like a localized viral infection. They have also said it could be something very serious, and the ugly “C” word has been mentioned. Igal spoke to T yesterday and he described T as “Shaken” by what the doctors have had to say.

So if you have a moment today say a prayer, light a candle, send some positive vibes, That S and T’s little girl has a minor bug that will go away quickly, and send some positive energy to S and T too that they can have some comfort.